The problems with having a nano-micro-blog on a system that requires social activity are great in number. It is almost as if I am required, by law, to follow every student with a blog on the same system that goes to this school. However, I don’t for good reason. Unfortunately, I do follow a blog written by a flake of a boy that I believed I had feelings for back in December. As it turned out, I wasn’t right for him because I played coy, hard to get, and took it slow. I wanted a relationship with him so I held back. My endeavors proved to be the opposite of what he was looking for in a boyfriend; he wanted a guy to lay it all out on the table and provide for his sexual appetite. An appetite I had no idea existed until after all was said, nothing was done, and we had packed up and seen each other much less frequently. I am glad that this all happened, however, because I later learned through second-hand mentions that he was a bit off and was often seen around town with a new boy each week. Though the details of the relationships are fairly discreet, it was still disheartening to see such cycles.
His blog, updated only moments ago, hosts a post with a toast to his first kiss. In it, he claims that his first kiss was a year ago today.
This bit of news frustrates me more than our minor blip on the radar did over the past few months. From having had no sexual experience until he was ready to ship off to college, to what he is today isn’t entirely unfathomable, not disappointing, but strangely bizarre if only because I believed he was ‘different from the rest’. Maybe what I find strange is my finding it strange.
No, I’m not in an emotional huff because of this. No, I don’t have feelings for him anymore. The reason that I am posting to this forum is to ask a few questions on the matter.
Is it not entirely odd that he remembers the exact day of his first kiss? Am I alone in finding this strange? I definitely remember my first kiss. The beginning of summertime in June of 2006. The arms of a college boy long-forgotten around my shoulders. Having to sneak out of my house only to sit on the top of a small city made of ladders and platforms and slides and poles at a children’s park a block away. The stars and moon shone so clearly in the sky but were often blockaded by small, threatening rain clouds. Shivering from cold in a pair of shorts. My back to his chest and the awkward turn of my neck to move to his lips. Questions attacking my head about what to do. Letting him take control because he had been there before. Being careful not to aggravate his mouth with my teeth. Holding back my tongue until his had entered my own lips. The dryness of it all. The quenching of a sexuality I had only thoughts of prior to my experience. The quickness of such feelings and the lasting awkwardness and unsure words that surrounded my lips thereafter. But what day was it? Should I really care?
Do any of you remember the exact day of your first kiss? Do some of you not remember the kiss in the slightest?